The Mafia Gazette Issue 146
For All The News That Is News (E&OE)
Monday 18th Feb


BLACKMAIL, DECEIT AND TRADGEDY IN MIAMI
By Skye

A string of deaths took place in the east early on Sunday evening, including those of Jownes, leader of The People's Front of Miami - "Moranes eunt domus" and his Right and Left Hand Men, Misterio and Nick. According to witnesses on the scene at the time a young stranger who is believed to be named Rosie Shaw first handed Nick 2 bullets before proceeding to attack both him and Wise Guy Misterio. Nick was the first to fall, closely followed by Misterio. After reading a mail from Jello claiming to have had both his friend killed, Jownes joined the fight and went after Jello. He caught up with Jello and took aim but his gun misfired, killing him instantly.

This seemingly random attack could not have been further from it..

It all seemingly started on Valentines day, when a man named Marcus B (referring to himself as Dexter) contacted Mr Jownes demanding that the family pay him a total of 10 guns, 20 bullets and 5million dollars a week or else he and a group of friends would have to take Jownes and his family down. Jownes responded quickly to the threat by killing Marcus.

Soon after the death of Marcus oldman, a man wearing the badge of the notorious underground group, the concepts, contacted Jownes many times telling him he had made a mistake and that Jownes only had a couple of hours to pay him the demands or else would be taken out. Oldman also gave indication that he had access to Jownes' personal mail, giving him small pieces of information as proof, indicating a high ranked mole in the family. Oldman was killed soon after by an unknown killer.

After oldman's death, Jownes heard nothing more on the matter until Nick and Misterio were killed. At which time he was contacted again. This time by a man named Jello, who claimed that he had had Nick and Misterio killed and that they knew exactly how Jownes' family was run. Indicating again that there was a leak in the family security. Mr Jownes died after taking a shot at Jello and suffering a fatal misfire.

Soon after the death of his father, Nick's son contacted the Gazette. He told us that he had spoken with Jownes as he lay dying in the street. With his last breath he asked Niky if it had been his father who had betrayed him and had leaked the information out to these people. He told us his father practically ran the family, that he gave more than any other member and always did his best for the family. He seemed deeply hurt by the accusation of his father being a mole. He said to us 'This life isn't for me I have taken 1.4 million from Sonny as he was attacking the fella who blackmailed Jownes, Sonny doesn’t know let but this is my retirement fund and I will not be given it back this life for me is over. He has turned a true man, a man who would have died for him into a hater of his family name.' He then asked to be left alone and killed himself shortly after speaking with us.

The People's Front of Miami - "Moranes eunt domus", will probably never know who the mole in the family was. Or how the information was leaked out into such dangerous hands. But it is a clear warning to other family heads to choose their friends wisely.


Jownes' son, Jownes Jr contacted the Gazette and asked us to print the following statement;


Dear Sir/Madam,

My names is Jownes Jr and I would like you to publish the following public announcement on behalf of my family:

My father was a good man, he was always looking out for those close to him, his family, his colleagues in Miami and our friends in other cities. He made lots of friends and I believe this made a lot of more cowardly, socially backwards people jealous.

These people would often be seen sneaking around outside our house late at night and for some reason father was always first to the mail in the morning.

Often he would grow red in the face and leave the house in a rush with his gun. He always came back unscathed so we never asked what it was he did on those days.

However, one day my brothers and I had borrowed his gun and taken it to the creek to shoot some birds. We know we shouldn't have, but it was only meant to be fun. One of my brothers dropped the gun and a small piece fell out. We were scared and figured the gun would just not work and father would just have to use one of the others - it would seem we were quite wrong.

Our family is full of grief following this tragic accident and would ask those involved in my fathers' 'business' not to bother us. In our sorrow, as a result of this incident, we have vowed to lead an honest, hard-working life away from this seedy underworld.

We wish all our father's friends the best of luck in this cruel environment, but we cannot pick up where he left off. One might say that he has set the bar too high and we lack the enthusiasm to pick up the baton having experienced how easily life can be extinguished.

Yours,

Jownes Jr


AN ARGUMENT GONE TOO FAR
by GerberX

There has been uproar these last few days in Chicago over the alleged attacks on a member of the crime family “Beep Beep I’m a Jeep” and a hit on the Lone Ranger.

As with every story there are two parts to a story then a conclusion.
First was heard of this when Jackson (Lone Ranger) announced in the street of his events over the last few days. It is said that someone had put a hit out on him, A super citizen. He doesn’t know how much for but it seems it could be quite a lot.

He said that he had had an argument, that led to some shots been fired but to no conclusion. It has been leaked that this was an argument with Oompaloompa. She was unable to comment on this matter. Jackson also says that he has had it with Chicago and will not be shooting at anyone else from there. He really blames this Super Citizen for all the attacks on him. He announced this in the street to clear his name, yet it seems you can see he may have just added fuel to the fire for going public.

This Super Citizen (Maddog) has disclosed a statement that proves that Jackson has made a meal of what ahs happened by trying to make out he put the hit out on him. When speaking to Maddog he said that after Jackson shot at his close friend, he had no choice but to tell his friends to whack him for the crime he committed. He says he did not however put a hit out on him because Jackson put the hit on himself by going public, so there was no need to put the hit out and spend his own cash on it.

So it seems Jackson has tarnished his own name by falsely accusing others.

When asking the head of the family, to see if he had anything to add to the matter he said
“Ah, I'm afraid I'm going to have to keep that behind closed doors for the time being until the issue is sorted out. I've no intention on letting family matters out in the open unless they need to be”.
In the street however in the argument with Jackson he states that, why is Jackson defending Megatron for no logical reason, its quite weird. He says that all this clearing his name is because he is merely scared because he has dug a hole he can’t get out of. Jackson didn’t have time to disclose any information to help his case.

In conclusion an argument over facts yet unknown fully resorted in shots, no deaths, an allegation that a super citizen hired out a hit on Jackson. The hit
being utter nonsense. A plea to clear his name, but digging a hole, by adding fuel to the fire by putting a hit on himself by announcing it all in the street.

More to follow at a later date........


FAULTY GUNS BEING SOLD TO MADE MEN?
by Tea Jenny

This week has seen three made men lose their lives to gun misfires. We reported Shinobi in last weeks edition and now we see Slim Jim of Dallas and Jownes of Miami suffer the same fate. All three being in similar circumstances where the made has went to step into a fight himself and take a shot himself and instead had his gun blown up in his face.

All three deaths are being looked into carefully and Mr AmmoMan has been taken in for questioning in his involvement with the 'accidents'. close friends and relatives of the three men can also expect to be questioned on any possible involvements with tampering.

It is of popular opinion that these faults occurred through overuse of the weapons, but explosions of these sorts are rare and to see three happening in a week is almost unheard of. So detectives are looking into other explanations.


IMMIGRANTS KILLED IN MIDNIGHT RAID
by GerberX

Today a statement from the B.O.I (Board Of Immigration) leaked into the hands of the Mafia gazette. Quite of a disturbing Document, never the less there

needs to be some light shined on the problem that is on our shores.

B.O.I CLASSIFIED G15

A number of early morning raids saw 17 men lose there life’s. 5 raids went on in total, spanning from LA, LV, NY, Miami and Chicago. 6 people lost there lives in LA, 5 in NY, 4 in LV and 1 in Miami and Chicago...

These were all timely raid, that went down at 12:00am on the 16th Feb 08...it seems that these men were in fact Immigrants from Mexico that have come up and tried to make there mark in these cities....They did not have valid visas to stay there so the B.O.I had no choice but to get the F.B.I to capture these men, detain them for questioning then transported back to the own authorities. Not did they know or get the information for was that these men where actually members of the Gringo Boys.

The F.B.I went in only to find the men they came to capture were armed and were not going to go quietly. it seems there was a fire fight and 17 of the Gringos lost there lives in these raids... 15more were captured and the rest were detained for questioning on why they were in the US....They didn’t get anything form these men so had no choice but to send them back into the custody of the Mexican authorities....

So the blank goes on, quite the worrying thought that these people are among us and are freeloading from us. From under our noses....B.O.I would like anyone who has any information on the where bouts of any of these men who are remaining in the US un-detected...it is reported that there could be as many as 200 of them taking home in the cities around us.


THE FUTURE OF LAS VEGAS
by Skye

Following the death of Shinobi, the future of The White Lotus Society looked bleak. However late last week Leo Francis came to the street reassure us that Vegas is still under control. He told listeners that Vegas is still under strict control by a structure of five men, all of whom are just short of made. Each waiting for the Godfather to present them with the title and the responsibility of taking over Las Vegas. It has not yet been revealed who these five men are and wont be until the family is ready to divulge the information to the public.

The announcement was received well by the crowd, with most bystanders passing on their sympathies to the death of Shinobi and offering their support to the future of The White Lotus Society. There was one small incident where a man known as Mr Hong was attacked by a couple of hoodlums from Las Vegas for correcting them when they referred to it as 'Los' Vegas. They took four shots at him in total for his remark, showing their family up in the street.

The rest of the afternoon was drawn away from the issue of the announcement and spent discussing the outburst in the street. Hopefully this is not an indication of things to expect from Las Vegas in the future.


THE ASSASSINATION OF CRIMINALMINDS
by WireRope


Sunday, at 11:10AM, Wise Guy CriminalMinds was shot and killed by an unknown assassin in New York. A member of ? Fratellanza di Fratello and a hugely popular face on the streets, CriminalMinds’ death has been a huge shock to all who knew him.

The ? Fratellanza di Fratello has been no stranger to unprovoked attacks lately, and it seems that CriminalMinds may have been the latest innocent victim in the string of attacks.

Strangely, in his last minutes, he said the words “urmom you are a dead man”. With a small amount of research I found urmom to be a Thug incapable of killing anyone. At the funeral and in his correspondence with me he stated that he had done nothing to infuriate CriminalMinds and seemed not to know who he was.

Weather or not the accusation of urmom by CriminalMinds was related directly to his killer or not is impossible to know, but urmom will undoubtedly turn up dead soon, as is so often the way of our streets.

? Fratellanza di Fratello leader and Made Man Megatron has said the crew is looking into the death of Criminal minds in every way they can, and that his killer will be dealt with immediately and severely as soon as he is found.

While people are killed on our streets every day, it is always sad to see someone who worked hard to better this world, and he will be sorely missed by all who knew him. The ? Fratellanza di Fratello are looking for any information regarding his death, and Megatron would be grateful to anyone who can help.

In times of unrest, it is sad to note that no-one, not even a Wise Guy is safe from seemingly unprovoked attacks.

Today at 1:11PM in New York urmom was killed. He left no dying words and no-one spoke about his actions specifically at the funeral, so any evidence he may have carried regarding the death of CriminalMinds is not lost for good. If he was the culprit then the crews have carried out their form of justice, and if he was not he is the innocent bystander in this event who could not prove himself not to be involved.


BEEP BEEP, IM A JEEP!
by Gazette Reporter

Early Saturday morning Puck arrived on the streets of Chicago to announce the setting up of his family, Beep Beep, Im a jeep!, In Chicago. He went on to reveal his plans for the 'Windy City'. He plans told the crowd he plans to set up a unique family, encouraging freedom and creativity whilst also enforcing the basic true values within the mafia. He wants Chicago to be a place that people can enjoy visiting and living as well as being a place where they can feel safe and secure.

He finished by saying that his Head Quarters is still under construction and so for now recruitment is limited to close friends until further notice. He then opened the floor for questions and comments.

First to comment was family member and lifelong friend Oompaloompa who in her excitement had come onto the streets still clutching her hammer and duster, covered from head to toe in dust. She told the onlookers how excited she was to be a part of this new family and wished Puck the best of luck before disappearing back inside to continue her DIY work.

Puck was then met by crowds of well wishers praising not only him but bringing up the achievements of his great grandfather. It seems Puck has a lot to live up to. It seems there could be an interesting future for the city of Chicago and it's newest residents.


CLAIMS TO DALLAS
by Gazette Reporter

Early this afternoon, a young man from Chicago called HitmanPmc came to the street to announce his claim on the city of Dallas following the death of Made Man Slim Jim. He told onlookers that the family was now run by himself and his family and that no one should set up there without his permission saying, "we would not like family starting up in this city without the permission of me and I would like a good reason why you are in my city doing this." He went on to say he would kill anyone he caught mugging and tried to recruit new members in the street. It was then left open to questions from bystanders.

The first, and most interesting question was that from Avalanche, who asked the man why was claiming a city he did not yet even live in nor that he had a Head Quarters in. Hitman answered that because no one he had spoken to had claimed the city, that it was ok for him to claim it. Other bystanders started to agree that Hitman had jumped the gun a little, claiming control of a city before he had even bought a HQ there.

It can sometimes take weeks to purchase a suitable head quarters, and then build up a family. Only at this point should a family be ready to take full control of a city.

Hitman died shortly after his announcement.



JOKE OF THE DAY
by Tea Jenny


One day, a mime is visiting the zoo and attempts to earn some money as a
street performer. As soon as he starts to draw a crowd, the zoo keeper grabs him
and drags him into his office.

The zoo keeper explains to the mime that the zoo's most
popular attraction, a gorilla, died suddenly and the
keeper fears that attendance at the zoo will fall off.

He offers the mime a job to dress up as the gorilla until they can get another
one. The mime accepts the offer.

So, the next morning, before the crowd arrives, the mime puts on the gorilla
suit and enters the cage. He discovers that it's a great job. He can sleep all he wants, play and make fun
of people, and he draws larger crowds than he ever did as a mime on the street.

However, eventually the crowd tires of him, and he tires of just swinging on
auto tires. He notices that the people are paying more attention to the lion in
the next cage. Not wanting to lose the attention of his audience, he climbs to
the top of his cage, crawls across a partition, and dangles from the top of the
lion's cage.

Of course, this makes the lion furious, but the crowd
loves it. At the end of the day the zoo keeper comes and gives the mime a
raise for being such a good attraction.

Well, this goes on for some time, the mime keeps
taunting the lion, the crowd grows larger, and his
salary keeps going up.

Then, one day, when he is dangling over the top of the
lion's cage, he slips and falls. The mime is terrified.
The lion raises himself up and prepares to pounce. The
mime is so scared that he begins to run around the cage
with the lion in hot pursuit.

Finally, the mime starts screaming, "Help! Help me!"
The lion is quick and pounces. The mime soon finds him flat on his back
looking up at the angry lion. The lion says, "Shut up, you idiot, or we'll both
lose our jobs!"


HOROSCOPES
by Mystic Meg


Aries - A friendship from the past is reawakening. This will bring a smile to your face. This weekend I see a fresh perspective on an old argument.

Taurus - Don't avoid conflict this week have fun debating people who think differently than you. You are a very witty character, use this to your advantage. I see love flourishing this weekend.

Gemini - You may feel overly impulsive this week, and going with these urges could land you in a lot of hot water. Stick with the plan and settle down. This weekend I see financial luck coming your way, perhaps a good time to play the lottery?

Cancer - Saturn's path will fill you with confidence this week, use this new found confidence to speak up and do some good for the community. This weekend will bring you some good luck.

Leo - Be careful in business deals this week, someone is trying to make a fool out of you. By the weekend an old investment could be paying off.

Virgo - The heat is on in one of your close relationships, tempers are likely to flare. Don't let personal grudges get in the way of business this week. By the weekend things should have calmed down.

Libra - Now is the time to step up and say what's been playing on your mind, you'll find that you're not the only one. This weekend I see a big promotion coming your way.

Scorpio - A shift in Mars will leave you unsettled this week, make sure you have things straight in your head before going public with your ideas. By the weekend things will start to feel more secure.

Sagittarius - You have a right to be opinionated about things. But be prepared to learn, too. You might just learn something.. This weekend I see conflict.

Capricorn - This week is all about giving for Capricorns, the moons path is making you feel generous. If you can be of service to someone this week, you will make yourself feel valuable. By the weekend I see a new person coming into your life.

Aquarius - If a friend comes under attack this week, think twice before trying to defend them. You may want to dig a little deeper into the story before you get involved in it. This weekend you may see someone in a different light.

Pisces - One of your partners has a different agenda than you right now. Just be aware. By the weekend all will become clear.


OBITUARIES
by Skye


Slim_Jim


Rank- Made Man
Died - Feb 16th 08 10:27PM
City - Dallas
Cause - Misfire


BloodBrother:
RIP
sad to see someone die this way

FatSam:
sorry to hear the bad news, your truly missed

Toy_soildier:
RIP did not deserve to die.

Mr_Vitale:
wow im definitely sadden by this loss
Rip,
Sal

----------------------------------------------------

Come_Play

Rank - Street Boss
Died - Feb 17th 08 9:11PM
City - Las Vegas
Cause - Gunshot


MugShot:
Rest in Peace

Echo:
What happened here?
RiP Hon
Have your daughter Contact me..
*Lays a dozen Roses on the Coffin*

GraceSlick:
Rest in Peace, Sis

----------------------------------------------------

Jownes

Rank - Made Man
Died - Feb 17th 08 5:12PM
City - Miami
Cause - Misfire


Niky:
*Lays a rose*
Boss this shouldn’t have happened whats going on these days, you were a good leader and friend I wish your son all my support at this time. Rest now old friend

Sirano:
RIP sir, seemed like you were the genuine article and a fine leader.

Wursten:
RIP man, an honourable man when I spoke with you,
Its sad to see you gone

Megatron:
Now that’s a shock, I’m truly sorry to see you here sir, I had utmost respect for you and enjoyed our conversations...
Rest in peace Jownes.

----------------------------------------------------

Misterio

Rank - Wise Guy
Died - Feb 17th 08 4:52PM
City - Atlanta
Cause - Gunshot


Almeida:
*I stand over the Grave a wipe away a tear*
RIP my friend, rest well
*lays a white rose*

AmeliaRizzo:
Noooooo this is not good. This cannot be good! What happened to thee?!
Rest well dear. God I miss you :(
RIP

JBauer:
Misty you old dog you!!
Much love man, RIP

----------------------------------------------------

Sirano

Rank - Wise Guy
Died - Feb 17th 08 8:09PM
City - Chicago
Cause - Gunshot


CharlesCarter:
RIP man :(
This was entirely unjustified.

DirkStruan:
RIP Sirano.
This is a tragedy.

AdolfoPope:
RIP my curly haired amego.

----------------------------------------------------

Nick

Rank - Hoodlum
Died - Feb 17th 08 4:32PM
City - Miami
Cause - Gunshot


SixthSense:
No Way!!! Sorry to see this...Will be Sorted
Rest In Peace

Joe_Biaggi
RIP
You did a lot for me and my father. Have your son message me if you need anything.


CLASSIFIEDS


Have a business? Horses? Anything you want advertised? The Gazette will advertise it here, absolutely FREE! Just drop Skye a mail with the details.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Gazette is back and looking for writers once more. If you have a flare for writing and wish to apply, either part time or full time.. drop by the head office in Chicago or simply submit articles/columns to Skye.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Rosco's Flowers, New York.
We are located in New York city near a parking lot that has minimal car thefts, and the old ladies walk without fear of purse-snatchers!
We are experts in floral design and delivery.
For modest prices we can deliver flowers to anywhere in the world!
Drop by or contact RoscoVerde for more details.

About Terms SHOP