The Mafia Gazette Issue 144
For All The News That Is News (E&OE)
Tuesday 22nd Jan


FROM THE EDITORS

Since our return to the cities the mafia Gazette has had no true home, as editors from across the country fought over it. On Sunday, Mr DragonFire was announced the new Editor-In-Chief of the Mafia Gazette. However today we regret to inform you that DragonFire has decided that although he enjoyed bringing the news to you, he has decided to step aside and welcome his replacement Skye.

With regret today I have handing in my notice to the gazette corporation with regards to the editors position, I have found with the take over that the position is no longer what I am looking for, I wish Skye all the luck and from reading her papers from the past I know she will do a excellent job and become a very well respected editor and chief. I will remain on the books with Skye blessing and write the odd article from time to time. - Dragon

I look forward to getting this paper back on it's feet and working with some of the countries best writers, I also wish Dragon the best with his future endeavours and hope he sticks around to remain a part of the paper. Now, back to what's truly important, bringing you the news! - Skye


CREW STANDARDS?

In the past few weeks we have begun to see leaders rising from the many many hoodlums that roam our streets. These small time street bosses have been setting up head quarters in cities all across the country, all hoping to make a name for themselves. Each of them hoping that one day they will be Made Man of their own city and have hundreds of men working for them.

However reports have been coming in that some of these street bosses are perhaps too desperate to get numbers into their organisations, with some crew heads simply sending out invitations to thugs and hoodlums who they don't really know, some of which they have never even met. Others have reportedly been sending recruiters out onto the streets to approach potential members and ask them if they'd like to join.

The public are beginning to fear that this can only lead to a war, with so many random members joining crews full of people they don't know and cannot trust, havoc can only follow. This thing of ours has to be built on trust, respect, loyalty and honour, none of which can be possible in a family of strangers from the street. Trust and friendship must be built up over time, or else we will end up with crews full of muggers and killers and as the past will tell us, it only needs one in a family to bring it down.

In the past families have been so strict with invites that new members always needed to spend time convincing the bosses to let them join, they had to gain the trust of the leaders and prove themselves worthy of even the smallest role in the family. Now it seems you don't even need to ask.

A family of strangers is not a family, it is a disaster waiting to happen.


CALL IN A FAVOR

In the last few days it seems that the godfather himself has been giving out favours. Stuck in jail? Call in a favour. Want to get your friend out of Bubba's sweaty reach? Call in a favour, and it's rumoured that it's not to stop there either. Talks have been going amongst the ranks of allowing favours to be cashed in for other uses, such as asking the Godfather for a gun or a couple of bullets or asking the captain to pay you a visit in return for a favour.

Shocking reports though state that President Carcass is involved with these favours from the Godfather, and that by sending the President himself just a few dollars you can earn yourself a few favours. There have also been reports of President Carcass using these favours to get selected thugs and hoodlums out of the cities jails and back onto the streets.

It seems that the President is planning something with the Godfather, and this will not be the last we see of it. We'll give you more news on this as it breaks.


JOKE OF THE DAY

The Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper has cheated him out of ten million bucks.

His bookkeeper is deaf.

That was the reason he got the job in the first place. It was assumed that a deaf bookkeeper would not hear anything that he might have to testify about in court.

When the godfather goes to confront the bookkeeper about his missing $10 million, he brings along his attorney, who knows sign language.

The godfather tells the lawyer, “Ask him where the 10 million bucks he embezzled from me is.”
The attorney, using sign language, asks the bookkeeper where the money is.

The bookkeeper signs back, “I don’t know what you are talking about.”
The attorney tells the godfather, “He says he doesn’t know what you’re talking about.”

The godfather pulls out a pistol, puts it to the bookkeeper’s temple, and says, “Ask him again!”
The attorney signs to the bookkeeper, “He’ll kill you if you don’t tell him!”

The bookkeeper signs back, “OK! You win! The money is in a brown briefcase, buried behind the shed in my cousin Enzo’s backyard in Queens!”

The godfather asks the attorney, “Well, what’d he say?”
The attorney replies, “He says you don’t have the guts to pull the trigger.”


OBITUARIES

Aphex - Died: Jan 22nd 08 1:13PM in Chicago
Street Boss

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Randle_McMurphy

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo...

...ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
oooooooooooooooooo...

...oooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

Why? Why God, why? He was so young, and so beautiful.

:'(

Are Eye Pee Phexybum.

----

Maurice

Maurice walks in and motions for Sylvester to usher DragonFire out of the funeral home. Now was not a time for gloating.

"Aphexius, you said I would be King and this belief allowed me to mock those below me without feeling sympathy for the peasants below me. I thank you for that.

You were destined for greatness, and then death by glitchdom... RIP"
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Gman - Died: Jan 22nd 08 1:25PM in Miami
Street Boss

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Arssura

RIP mate
me love you long time.

----

Beppe

You win mi heart
Rest In Peace bebes

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Morgan - Died: Jan 22nd 08 5:28PM in Atlanta
Street Boss

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Faithless
i'm sorry hunny...i really am...i tried to warn you tormy was evil! i will miss you horribly my sweet...i know what you were doing..
RIP my love

----

Chuck
Rip squire....at times you were good others not so :(


CLASSIFIEDS

Have a business? Horses? Anything you want advertised? The Gazette will advertise it here, absolutely FREE! Just drop Skye a mail with the details.

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The Gazette is back and looking for writers once more. If you have a flare for writing and wish to apply, either part time or full time.. drop by the head office in Chicago or simply submit articles/columns to Skye.

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