The Bad Apple

The early hours of the July 25th were marred by the death of 2 members of La Famiglia Del DeSantis, the target had been Trev DeSantis, the leader of the family, neither of the bullets found there target but Reich DeSantis and Mikhail both leapt in the path of the bullets being fired. They both suffered fatal wounds protecting there boss in what is seen as the ‘ultimate death’ for the DeSantis family.

It was unknown who the shooter was until a trail of saliva was found at the seen of the second shooting that claimed the life of Mikhail. Trev had his bodyguard follow the trail where he found simpleton Apple standing with dribble falling from his mouth as he bobbed up and down on the spot clapping at the pretty colours in a store selling rugs.

Apple who is affected by a genetic forms of autism and anal incontinence was seen wandering around muttering “lol i don't give no fucks” We at the voice are trying to decode this message but it’s a painstaking task and professionals have told us that it is merely the scrawling of a retarded child. They say the Apple doesn’t fall far from the tree and this seems to be the case because after a bit of detective work it seems that Apple is a blood relation to a family line of well known retards usually boasting a name with some form of Dewey involved. We have been told the reason that the name Dewey is so commonly used by the family line is down to the fact that they have very limited vocabulary and Dewey is one of the few names that the men can utter.

Apple later embarrassed himself further by entering the funeral home holding a sign with what looked like a sad face drawn on it and mentioned the fact Mikhail had gotten in the way of his bullet. Why he had the sign with a sad face drawn on it is a mystery to us although we have not totally dismissed the idea that he took part in an arts and crafts lesson at the local special needs centre.

As the paper goes to print Apple had just lifted his head from his dribble soaked pillow and shot again at Trev DeSantis, this time though he happened to get the sunshine bus out of the city and in to Reno.

The Voice will be back with more updates as they happen. Rest in peace Mikhail and Reich.

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